Complexity Page 7

  "I'm just not a morning person, I guess." I wrinkled my nose, trying to be light-hearted. Julian's natural smile spread across his lips, plump bags under his eyes wrinkling him further. He would probably hate the way he looked in the morning, but I liked him this way. He looked so natural and authentic. It warmed me that he let me see this side of him.

  "That makes two of us." We laughed, with Julian embracing me, warming me under the covers. We were so busy giggling and messing around that I didn't hear the bathroom unlock or even notice when Nikolas had gone to the door to change into a fresh suit his driver had likely brought up. When I heard his footsteps approaching the bed, I shifted my easy gaze to one of apprehension, meeting Nikolas' stare with my own.

  "I have a meeting to attend shortly." His voice was cool and detached. He looked visibly angry, staring back at me. I tugged at the covers, feeling used as he stared at me with such open contempt. I didn't want this to happen. This was the opposite of what I wanted to happen. I felt pathetic for desperately craving both of them. I should've given up on both of them. I couldn't look at Nikolas any longer, but I kept my head held high. I refused to let another man dictate how I would feel.

  "Is someone a little sore from last night?" Julian smirked at Nikolas, antagonizing him. It was then I realized Nikolas was fuming because I was snuggled up unmistakably close to Julian. He was mad because it wasn't him in that position. "Need a cushion for the road?" He tossed one at Nikolas with what looked like little effort, but the pillow would have slammed into Nikolas' face had he not deftly caught it.

  "You better hold onto this. You'll need it later." Julian shivered in excitement, eager for Nikolas. Then he turned to me. "I'm afraid I'm tied up with meetings and negotiations for most of this week, Cecelia. Call me whenever you're free and I'll do my best to make myself available." Then he crawled onto the bed, looking down on me, and kissed my lips tenderly. He withdrew before I could beg for more and began walking to the door.

  "Julian," he said over his shoulder, just before closing the studio door behind him. I couldn't help but feel a little empty once he'd left, now that it was just me and Julian. He, however, seemed unaffected.

  "You wanna shower together?" His brows rose suggestively. I shrugged.

  "I'm actually tired from last night. Is it okay if I just sort of soak in there for a bit? We could grab brunch afterwards," I offered, hoping he'd give me my space to collect my thoughts.

  "Sure." He said it so easily and warmly. I envied his amiable nature sometimes; then again, my best friend hated nearly everyone other than Oliver and I. It dawned on me that I wasn't too far off from her; I didn't really have other friends to rely on either. I climbed out of bed, my legs feeling noticeably weak. I trudged my way to the shower, in need of a soak and lathering.

  The hot water hit my back, taming the ache in my back, and frankly, my entire body. I had been fucked raw last night, and while I loved it and it gave me deep release, I needed a break to recuperate. I'd felt so out of balance in the last 24 hours. I never thought they'd both agree to this arrangement, but Nikolas seemed to be trying to edge Julian out. I shifted in the shower, turning to fully soak my back. I didn't know how I felt about Nikolas fighting Julian so much. It was a part of who I was, wanting and partially needing both of them. If he rejected Julian, then he was rejecting part of me now. If Nikolas never got on board, what was I going to do about it? My stomach plummeted when I couldn't come up with an answer, anxiety consuming me.

  I'd probably been in the shower for too long since my skin was wrinkling, so I padded out and toweled myself off among the steam in the bathroom. I didn't feel much better after the shower, and when brunch was over, I was feeling even worse. I still couldn't think of a way to keep both of them, and it was clear that Nikolas wouldn't be able to share me for much longer. I politely sent Julian off in a cab, who seemed concerned, but thankfully didn't push the issue. I was afraid of losing them, just like the last time. I dialed Ame, trying to getting a grip on myself. She picked up after the fourth ring.

  "So, who did you go out with first?" We didn't need greetings when it was the two of us.

  "Well, both?" I winced into the phone, bracing myself for her reaction.

  "Cecelia," she chided me. "You can't go around being self-destructive with some of New York's most beautiful men. You're going to leave yourself with nothing."

  "I didn't think they'd agree either..."

  "Wait. Hold on." I waited. "You lucky little slut."

  "Well, last night was incredible. It hurts to walk." She spit out whatever she was drinking, probably another mimosa.

  "God, yes. Those two men could make any normal girl wet just from looking at them. Little did they know they found the kink queen of New York."

  "Shut up. I'm pretty tame."

  "Honey, needing a regular dose of gangbangs isn't considered tame." Her tone was laced with sarcasm.

  "Anyways," I said pointedly. "I need your help sorting them out. I don't think Nikolas is going to be able to share me for much longer, and I don't know what to do."

  "Shocker. Powerful businessman upset about not getting what he wants."

  "Ame. Help," I pleaded, half-joking.

  "Alright. I'm not being productive today anyways." She went silent for a moment. "Are you sure you're ready to get back into this, Cece? David really messed you up last time." I recoiled, hearing his name.

  "I-I don't know, Ame. But I couldn't stand letting either of them go last night." My voice was shaking, struggling to regain control.

  "I'll be over soon." She sounded worried, which was a change.

  "Okay." I said before ending the call. Then I curled into myself and let the worry consume me, eating me alive.

  Chapter 11

  It had been four days and not so much as a single fucking text from Cecelia. I was growing anxious, waiting for her to contact me. I didn't want to seem desperate for her, especially when I'd been clear that she was to contact me when she was free. My hands flexed around the arms of my office chair, creaking pathetically at the pressure.

  I'd left things in sort of a mess the last time I saw her. I'd been so indifferent to her, distracted by my jealousy of Julian. I could still see him lying there, groping her as she entwined around him under the sheets. I couldn't stand the thought of her wanting him more than me. I thought that when I finally had her to myself, I would feel easier, lighter. I didn't expect my feelings of lust and possessiveness to intensify after having my way with her. I found my thoughts being consumed by her, thinking of new ways to please her, pleasure her.

  I hardened at my desk, picturing her naked on all fours, looking back at me with wide eyes, expectant. The way she looked at me tore through my indifference, demanding my attention. I couldn't deny her anything, except my time. I cursed, throwing the pen I'd been turning in my hands across the room. I grew more frustrated every waking second, and work was a boring distraction. It wasn't working anymore. I needed to see her, hear her voice, touch her. Even if it was just for coffee, I craved her.

  "Mr. Bertrand?" Laurel's voice intruded on my desires. "The meeting? It's starting now." I rose from my chair swiftly, buttoning the middle on a pale blue suit jacket. I'd picked it to wear because it reminded me of Cecelia's eyes. The way she looked while she swallowed my cum, her tongue licking her lips. That woman was doing something to me.

  "Nikolas, pleasure to see you again." I outstretched my hand, taking his in my firm grip. Trevor Gibson shook it vigorously, with as much force as I put into it. Trevor was the majority shareholder at StrideCorp, which I was now going to buy since all his other bidders had backed out. "You've been a hard man to pin down."

  "Many people seek my attention, Trevor. I do my best to accommodate everyone. Now, I assume you're here to discuss the buyout of your company," I said politely, gesturing to a chair across from mine as I sat down, unbuttoning my jacket. Cecelia thrust her way to the forefront of my thoughts, distracting me. No, I had to focus now. "What were your thoughts?"
I looked at him blankly, waiting.

  "You backing out of the initial bid scared off my other buyers, Nikolas. I'm not a fan of being strong-armed. I've been wanting to sell my company, and you approached me first. You can't expect me to consider a bid as low as this one." He tossed his hands in the air, infuriated.

  "My company wasn't ready to acquire your assets at that time. I appreciate the preference you showed me, but I wasn't comfortable buying then. I am now." I lowered my gaze, all pleasantries gone. "We both know you were trying to start a bidding war, jacking the price of your company way up. I'm sorry if I'm not interested in playing games. I do want to do business with you, even let you retain some percentage while I still hold majority, but this is the price I'm willing to pay for it. If you can't agree, then best of luck with your other bidders."

  "What other bidders? You scared them all off." He exhaled in his seat.

  "Unfortunately, that's not my problem." I pushed the paperwork for my offer to his side of the glass table. "What is my problem, however, is knowing whether or not you want to accept my offer." Trevor snapped the papers off the table, to look at them before snorting.

  "You can't be serious."

  "In fact, I am."

  "I need to make a profit, Nikolas."

  "That price ensures you profit, Trevor. Keep in mind you'll still hold monetary shares." Trevor grimaced in his chair, staring me down. I kept my expression empty. I had all the time in the world to negotiate. He had no other offers on the table, and he didn't have the luxury of waiting if he wanted to retire anytime soon.

  "You certainly live up to your image, Nikolas." He sighed, pulling a pen from his suit jacket's inner pocket. It was gold-trimmed. He dotted the paper harshly, with an audible smack. "At least I can trust you not to dismantle my company." It was more so a threat.

  "Not with yours, Trevor." I took the papers from him, standing. "Until next time, Trevor. All the best." He shook my hand roughly.

  "You as well, Nikolas. Make the world your own." His words struck me while we shook hands before I led him out. The meeting hadn't done anything to provoke some effort; it felt relatively simple. My thoughts drifted back to Cecelia, and I stopped in the entrance of my boardroom. Why hadn't she contacted me? Was she losing interest in me? I bristled, imagining Julian fucking her senseless, giving her all the pleasure she could ever want. I imagined him making her orgasm, crying out, her lips parting for him.

  I'd had enough waiting. I wouldn't let Julian have her; I'd do whatever it took to make her mine. I stormed out of the boardroom, renewed and raging with a fire in my gut.

  "You have a 3 o'clock arriving in the next 15 minutes." Laurel vied for my attention on my way back to my desk. I ignored her lust for me.

  "Reschedule," I barked. She looked taken aback, but worked on her computer anyway.

  "To when?"

  "Any day other than the next 24 hours." I marched into my office, wrenching my coat from its rack, and slid my phone into the pocket.

  "Sir?"

  "I've got other business that needs my immediate attention. Cancel or reschedule. I don't care, just take care of it." I felt uneasy in the elevator, aggravated that it didn't go faster. My phone vibrated then in my pea coat, heightening my senses. Then I scowled, seeing that it was a message from Julian.

  Hey there,Nik ;)I didn't have time for him, today of all days.

  What is it?

  Wow, you're really never any fun unless you're getting railed are you? You hear from Cece lately? I gripped my phone so tightly I thought I'd smash it in my hands.

  Why. Is she alright?

  Ooooooh, she hasn't messaged. She's pissed at you, you know that,right? My pulse froze in my veins, pinning me to the elevator, even though the doors had opened to let me out. I couldn't bring myself to move. I was ruining this myself. Why couldn't I fucking get it together with her? Mechanically, I looked back at my screen, numb.

  Is that what she said?

  It's not like Cece would say anything to anyone but Ame... After you left she seemed pretty pissed off though.

  FUCK. Are you with her now?

  What? No, calm your dick, Nik. I was texting you to see if she was with you. A small piece of me thawed. At least she hadn't run off into Julian's arms. I didn't understand why Julian hadn't messaged her, though, why me? What was his angle with her?

  Why don't you ask her yourself then.

  I want to see her, but me alone isn't what she wants.

  I'll ask again, Julian. What do you want? I wasn't going to play his goddamn game. He was a good fuck, but I wasn't interested in him without Cecelia.

  OMG you're not the brightest are you? *sigh* She's pissed at you. Yet here I am telling you that you're who she wants. Sooooooo... what do you do? -_- I was tired of talking to him, although he had just given me an immense gift. I was suspicious about what his motives were, but he seemed to be infatuated with me, so maybe he just wanted to help.

  I got hold of myself, knowing what I was going to do. If she wouldn't come to me, I wasn't about to let her get away. If that meant Julian in the picture, I'd be better about hiding my feelings. I finally exited my personal elevator and strode out to the Lexus, where my driver waited for me at the front. I slid in easily after I told him the directions.

  She didn't want us at her actual apartment, and I was going to find out why, by meeting her there. I had to know if Julian was telling the truth or not, but I had a feeling he was, and that gave me hope. Her actual apartment was in the opposite direction of her studio apartment. The studio was purposefully close to the gallery where she featured all of her work. She was clearly doing well with the size of her working studio; also, the piece of artwork I'd purchased from her wasn't exactly affordable for someone without a high-paying job. The closer we got to her actual apartment, the higher the buildings got and the cleaner the streets were.

  She lived in a neighborhood similar to mine, upscale and privatized, surrounded by parks. My car crawled to a stop before pulling over in front of a luxurious apartment complex. I told him to wait for me and made my way to the front. I informed her front desk that I was waiting for her.

  I gathered she would still be out with Ame somewhere; she and her husband were the only people Cecelia usually liked to hang out with outside of her career. It was pleasing to see that she didn't spend a lot of time with other men in her free time; she was pleasantly reclusive.

  I waited for nearly an hour, busying myself with work emails in the meantime. When she did finally enter her building, I would have recognised her anywhere. Her long blonde waves fell all around her, bouncing off her shoulders as she walked. Her heels accentuated the lean muscles in her legs, showing off her long stride. She was tapping angrily on her phone, sunglasses shading the majority of her face.

  She looked up to see me and I stood easily, gazing at her focused. I wasn't leaving here until I'd fixed things. Cecelia halted in her tracks, her lips tightening. I couldn't see her eyes, but she was probably glaring at me. Everything about her suddenly turned rigid. So, Julian was telling the truth when he'd messaged me earlier.

  "Can I help you?" she said coolly, approaching me. Her arms crossed and she stood an awkward distance away.

  "We need to talk, Cecelia," I said, making my voice soften so my words didn't come across as urgent and angry. I saw her shoulders slump slightly, leaning into herself in front of me. In this moment, she looked so frail and exposed.

  "Fine," she said finally. "I'll take you up and we can talk." I watched her as we rode in the elevator. I noticed that we were likely going to the top, as we never slowed once. She looked sad, almost defeated and resigned in front of me. She was avoiding meeting my gaze, but she felt my eyes on her and continued to stand on the other side of the space. I wanted so fervently to know what she was thinking. We finally reached her floor and she turned on her heel to face me, her eyes shining and full of hurt.

  "What do you want?"

  Chapter 12

  My blue-and-white spot
ted dress shirt felt too tight, the necktie restraining me. I exhaled, and tugged at the tie until it came loose and I shoved it in my desk drawer. I must have read and re-read the same page of this manuscript several times in the past hour, getting nowhere.

  I scrolled through my cell, browsing memes to clear my head. I was also hoping that Cece or Nik would text or call. When I had brunch with Cece last week, she seemed off. I could tell she was upset by something Nik had done before he left, the moron. He was so sexually charged and desperate for her attention that when he had it, he didn't have a clue what to do. I rolled my neck, running a hand through my coiffed hair.

  By the time she'd left me abandoned in the cab, she was seething with anger anytime I brought him up in conversation. She was definitely pissed, but I'd been helpless to make her feel better.

  "Julian, you want to grab some Thai for lunch today?" Dana was leaning in through my doorway, smiling at me pleasantly. She was one of my coworkers at the publishing house.

  "Rain check, Dee." I stood from my chair, stretching and thankful it was lunch time. I was going crazy in my office today. "I've got lunch plans with Sidney."

  "Eek. You sure about it?" Dana could sympathize with how hard Sidney had taken the fact that I was bisexual. "What if she starts crying and screaming and totally melts down?"

  "Well, it's her restaurant we're eating at. So, I'll probably just get the hell out of there A.S.A.P." I grinned at her sideways, grabbing my jacket.

  "Let me grab my coat and we can walk there together before I head off for Thai."

  "Sure, why not?" I shrugged, waiting in the hall for her to hurry back. I checked my phone again like a high school girl with a crush, only to be deflated again when no messages had magically appeared in the five minutes since I'd last checked. I leaned against the wall, hovering over their contacts. I wanted to call Cece, but if I did nothing for her when she was mad five days ago, how was I going to do anything now when she'd had time for her frustrations to fester? I didn't want to text Nik about it because he was such a colossal idiot. It was probably because he was so insensitive. After Dana and I parted ways around the corner of Sidney's restaurant, I was brought back to thinking of Nik and Cece. I probably had no choice but to fix things between us all; I doubted Nik had it in him to apologize on his own.